Sweepie the Broom

Sweepie the Broom
"U SWIVIN' WOT, YE DODGY BADGER?"
Ravenstar's Enchanted Broom
Gender	Unknown (Male Personified)
Race	Straw Broom
Clan	Ravenstar
Citizenship	Ul'dah
Age	Ageless
Profession	Sweeper of the Floors, Cleaner of All Things Doosty
Patron Deity	Nonotha Notha
Server	Balmung

Basic Information

Nonotha's broom, a gift from Azazelle so that she wouldn't have to waste time sweeping anymore. It has been enchanted with seven cants of binding, and now roams about the company house, sweeping all of the dust and dirt that accumulates in the halls.

The broom is somewhat sentient past its sole purpose of sweeping. It speaks with a rough Lomisan [Irish] accent, and is known for muttering to itself as it sweeps, asking people to lift their feet so that it may sweep, and make the occasional cleaning pun with a few curse words thrown in. The broom has little to no potential for combat, though to date, it has been attacked and held its own in a fight against a mad Xaela woman, and a drunkard Pirate Captain.

• Nicknames: "FOOKIN' BROOM", "DEMON STICK!"
• Age:
  • Nameday:
• Gender: Male... ish?
• Sexuality: Mops
• Marital Status: Single Bristle, here.
• Alignment: Lawful Evil
• Height: Average Lalafell
• Weight: 2-3 ponze
• Body: Slim, rather slender
• Hair: A bit dry, straw blonde
• Eyes: (Uh)
• Skin: Sandalwood
• Clothing: Bit o'twine

Likes

• A clean floor

Dislikes

• Badgers
• A dirty floor
• Jo'hern
• Pirates
• Doost
• BLOODY BADGERS

Areas of Expertise

• Cleaning:
• Brawling:

History

Birthplace: Ravenstar's Basement

Family:

- Nonotha

Backstory:

Player Character Standing

♥ Romantic Interest    ♥ Platonic Love      ★ Family      ● Good Standing    ● Neutral Standing    ● Poor Standing    ⚔ Bitter Rivalry

♥ The Mop - Smoothest fibers this side o'the plains.

♥ Nonotha Notha

♥ Krystwyda Skoenalyrwyn

★ Azazelle Veusoix

⚔ Jo'hern Xikhe

⚔ Hayter Goldwing

⚔ Oyunara Kha

● Anyone Who Messes Up Sweepie's Floor

Other Notes

Quirks

Foulest, loud-mouthed broom ye'd ever met.

Quotes, Bristly Mumblings, Overheard Rants

"Mootha! Ah got ye a pet!" - Sweepie

"A pet? Also, I am not--" - Azazelle

"IT'SA DOOST BUNNEH." - Sweepie

"<Cold, Ishgardian, deadpan silence.>" -Azazelle

"Ah'll jus' ah, sweep meself oot..." -Sweepie

~*~*~*~*

"10/10 woo'd sweep a'gain." - Sweepie

~*~*~*~*

"Yoo know... Ah swish. And Ah swish... Soom'times... Ah wish Ah could swash. Joost li'k th' bootiful mop. She coo'd swash-swash mah way..." -Sweepie

Rumours

PC Rumours

• "It keeps the headquarters clean... A-at the expense of o-our sanity." - Nathaniel Graves

• "I'm fair certain that broom has caused more brawls than anyone in the house... Save for maybe Mied or Jo'hern. And there was a brawl between him... it? and Joh." - N'herys Kavvah

Gallery

Screenshots

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Footnotes

Mood Music

'Slept with an Ugly Woman' - Irish Drinking Song

'Bugger Off, Ye Bastards'

'I'm Shippin On To Boston' - Dropkick Murphys

Final Note

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This Wikia is obviously meant for satire, should not at all be taken (too) seriously and yes, Sweepie is a moderately player-run NPC within the Order of Ravenstar. RESPECT TH' BRISTLE.

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