Sarnai Malaguld

Accidental Depression Knight extraordinare, Sarnai of the Malaguld Tribe

Height: 5'3" Weight: 120lbs Build: Lean, Muscular Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Red Skin Color: Porcelain Scale Color: Ivory Click for a visual example! Sarnai is a woman of layers and roiling internal conflicts. While she frequently presents a calm, unflappable front, on the inside she is rarely quite so stoic. Decades of conflict have hardened her externally, though there's still a surprising sense of innocence and naivety about her at times... And she is still learning to handle her emotions, after so long of completely freezing herself off from them. She feels everything honestly and deeply, and does not always know the best way to express herself or rationalize her emotions. She is slow to form trust with others or bond to them - lingering trauma thickens her metaphorical armor, making it difficult to breach. But it guards a warm and caring - if troubled - heart. Perhaps a bit TOO caring - Sarnai frets endlessly over the wellbeing of those around her. Nothing makes her happier than cheering up, offering advice, or comforting those she cares about, even if it comes at a cost to her. And in turn, nothing makes her sadder than being frozen out by those she cares for. Sarnai has intense self-esteem and abandonment issues that make her panic she has done something wrong every time something goes wrong and drives her to fear she will be discarded - as a result, she will frequently self-flagellate and bend over backwards trying to appease people she cares about if she feels they are upset with her. She is still attempting to break out of her old habits of obedience and clinging to the guidance of others. She struggles to say no and put her foot down, especially when it comes to those whose opinions she holds in esteem. However, she has been realizing that this is not a healthy way to live, and is trying very hard to see herself as a person with her own value and valid desires. This has so far had very mixed results. In addition to her issues born of trauma, Sarnai has developed a few mental health concerns as a result of her colorful and destructive past. She has quite her share of demons and struggles with keeping them in check. This is not helped in the slightest by the fact she is in possession of a Dark Knight's soul crystal which she does not know how to safely use. Please note this section is under constant update due to the constantly evolving nature of roleplay and character development. More names and details are availaible on Sarnai's Carrd site as it is less of a headache to make constant edits to. Key: ♥-Romantic Interest ♦-Kin ♣-Friend •-Neutral ♠-Enemy ▲-Disliked §-NPC ‽-Deceased Qu White: ♦♣ A young hingan samurai who Sarnai initially met during her stint at Fate's Cross. The two of them never really interacted much until a leve gone wrong, in which Sarnai was gravely injured. Fearing (quite rightly) that she would run off during her healing period, Qu was assigned to guard her. Over the course of her weeks of infirmity the two formed a casual friendship, and then a deeper bond as they began working together on more dangerous adventures as battle companions and aspiring Selmers. The two were set to become a powerful team, and helped each other through many hardships. However, Sarnai spread herself too thin, and her old demons began to resurface and drag her down. Sarnai and Qu's paths diverged and they parted on bad terms after she made clear she could not follow him on his quest any longer - Sarnai genuinely feared that she may be hunted by her former comrades, terrified to see the man she was once so close to and be forced to defend herself against him. She avoided him for months, until eventually Qu managed to seek her out and reconcile with her. Though she was tentative and fearful and mistrusting at first, Sarnai missed her brother figure and accepted him back with open arms. As she would have back then, she once more trusts him with her life and would lay hers down in an instant to protect him. She cannot follow where he leads any longer - but she will be there at the end of the road to comfort him, keep him company, and aid him however she can. Shinji Isogai: ♥♣ A frequently mysterious hingan ninja who Sarnai initially met at a bar as she rested between travels, and the first and only man she has ever loved. Initially, the raen male confused her endlessly with his advances and companionship - slowly, Sarnai came to accept him as a part of her life and grew to cherish the bond that formed between them as he taught her how to feel again, and that not everything in the world was a threat to her. Though their bond quickly grew to be mutually romantic and Sarnai expressed a desire to be at his side and support him, Shinji broke off their relationship as it began to grow more serious. While hurt and confused, Sarnai recognized at the time it was sensible, and did not begrudge him it - clinging to the hope that he would one day return to her in a better state of mind. However, fate was unkind. While Shinji did indeed return having worked on himself, Sarnai was sucked into a dark, desperate pit of struggles and failed to meet his expectations of stability on their reunion. He chose to distance himself from her as a result, but Sarnai never stopped trying desperately to prove herself worthy of his love, throwing away everything she ever knew to try and build a life she could safely share. Since his return he has vanished from her life multiple more times, leaving her with many questions and fears, further confused by his claims that he still loves her. Sarnai feels she has no place in his life any longer, but she still hopes one day he will see that she is keeping a spot warm in hers for him and will let her in again. Though he has changed and Sarnai no longer knows how to approach or handle him, she cannot stop clinging desperately to the memory of warmth and affection and support that he once provided. Miira Kagon: ♣ Sarnai's relationship with Miira started off strictly buisness as a co-worker, after she was advised to seek her out for direction on her hiring into the Consortium - though she was always curious about the young shamaness, they never really interacted before she took Sarnai on as an Alchemy apprentice. Despite being her elder, the raen took her opinion and teachings in high esteem and strived to prove herself useful, capable. Though she was uncertain how to handle the other woman much of the time, eventually they formed a sort of friendship after it became apparent they had some rather unusual things in common. Though Sarnai frequently made (and continues to make) well-intentioned mistakes and acts of recklessness that drive Miira to fury, she still wants nothing more than to help the shaman and seek her advice in turn. The two had a rather spectacular falling out recently which has strained their relationship, though Sarnai naturally takes the blame on herself and offered her forgiveness readily. The aftereffects are still there, though - Miira has always been able to make Sarnai think and ponder things she might not nessecarily have wanted to, and the raen's current state of depression can probably be attributed to having to come to terms with some painful truths. Lucas Thawne: ♣ A man who Sarnai met through work, and who quickly baffled her with his flirtatious nature even as she came to enjoy his company for how well they got along. Though she was uncertain if she was even technically in a relationship (And still is) due to Shinji having pulled a vanishing act again, she ultimately did not respond to his advances and instead chose to maintain their rapport as good friends as Lucas instead chose to pursue another co-worker. The man displayed his trustworthiness to Sarnai early when she slipped up and demonstrated something rather dangerous in front of him in a fit of drunken playfulness, and he has since faithfully kept her secret as well as offering her aid in dealing with it. Since then, they spent quite a lot of time together, sparring and hanging out and helping each other with various problems. Sarnai's recent depression spiral has since seen them grow apart somewhat, however - though she still craves his friendship, she is afraid to lean on him too heavily for fear he will vanish if the depth of her problems become known to him, and has inadverdantly distanced herself. Euclio Aurum: ♣ Sarnai met Euclio while she was working as a cook at Torama's den, and they had something of a complicated start. While he was pleasant enough on their first meeting, he managed to do several things subsequently that annoyed her intensely. For a length of time, Euclio (allegedly) inspired nothing but feelings of mild irritation and disdain in Sarnai, though he has slowly over the course of many encounters come to earn her trust, particularly after an incident in which he caught her up to no good and after a bit of a brawl he agreed to keep her secret and exchange some of his own as a gesture of goodwill. Though they frequently butt heads and on the surface can look more like enemies on any given day, Sarnai does secretly nurse a growing appreciation for the flippant young man. This appreciation would grow into something more resembling a traditional friendship as Euclio again and again stuck his neck out for her unasked, at risk to himself, when Sarnai was in distress or weakened. While she still struggles with her perception of the man due to certain similarities he calls to mind and her own paranoia, she would probably call him a friend with some hesitance if she was asked to define how she felt about him, and would not need to be asked to offer him any assistance. Easily Heard (Caption Text) Hard to Hear (Caption Text) PC Rumors Easy Rumor Easy Rumor Hard Rumor Hard Rumor ((There are no rumors here yet. Feel free to add one!)) (Coming soon!) You may have heard of her/know her if: Military Sarnai served with the Maelstrom as a soldier for many years, at a time when Auri were nearly unheard of in Eorzea. She would have stuck out like a sore thumb whenever her face was glimpsed, though she would often try to conceal her true heritage beneath heavy hoods and armors. Anyone serving with the Maelstrom in the past decade may well have seen or at least heard of her. Mercenary After her discharge from the military Sarnai found work frequently as a mercenary and gained some renoun for her pragmatic efficiency and willingness to take on dangerous contracts. She has since retired, but still holds a net of contacts related to her old line of work. Hunter of beasts and abominations While hunting beasts is not a particularly uncommon vocation, Sarnai's knowledge on tracking, luring, and bringing down large and dangerous predators is truly impressive - something she honed over many years on the Steppe, where the beasts are far fiercer than most. In addition however, she can provide knowledge on other kinds of quarry - such as black magicians and voidsent. Reagent acquisition Sarnai has recently taken up a new profession as a botanist and agricultural researcher with the Couerl Consortium. She uses tricks from her days as a mercenary, hunter, and hedge herbalist to obtain items of use from flora, fauna and mineral alike. There would be advertisements for her services posted upon various noticeboards across the major cities as well as contact information. Dark Knight Though she is certainly not open about it, and has recieved no training in the field, Sarnai is in possession of a Soul Crystal which she uses to mixed effect and has bonded with deeply. Anyone familiar with a Dark Knight's aether would be able to spot Sarnai as a fledgeling with 'issues' from a mile off, and may well recognize some of her tricks if displayed as admittedly unusual methods of adapting their techniques. Interested in roleplaying with me, or have some questions? Contact me on Discord as Hylo. Or just ping me with a message if you catch me ingame and I'm not already busy flagged or something. I believe in consequences and would describe myself as a medium-high roleplayer. Therfor, I will not shy away from anything so long as it makes sense in context, be it mature themes, potentially upsetting themes, or things that might not nessecarily be pleasant to write. I don't have any triggers. If you do, please let me know before we get into a situation that might upset you. Please note that while I will participate in all of the above, I would like to make clear that I take the divide of IC and OOC seriously. What Sarnai does, says, and experiences does not in any way mirror what I would do, say, or condone. Sarnai's Carrd site, a much cleaner and more in-depth look at this idiot 400px User:Nimh who created this template Simple page template Credit 3