Baby Hands

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Ul'dah-transparent.png Baby Hands
Placeholder person.gif
"Oh aye?"
The Worst
Gender Male
Race Lalafell
Clan Dunesfolk
Citizenship Ul'dah
Nameday 10th Sun, Third Umbral Moon
Age Mid 40's
Guardian Nald'thal
Occupation Nothing Good


General Info

A disagreeable lalafell that has a much higher opinion of himself than anyone ought to.


Short and scrawny. Has a weird tattoo on his face and some visibly golden teeth. Smells awful. Obviously aged to any lalafell or non-lalafell that are keen on telling the difference. Generally ugly.


Absolutely disgusting.

Current Going-ons

Seems to spend most of his time drunk. Crops up in the most unlikely of places. Has a penchant for petty crime and gambling. Can occasionally be seen talking to groups of similarly-tattooed thugs.

Known Aliases

Sasan, Sa-san, Sasanojo Kekenojo, Baby Hands, The First Son, The Eighty-First, 81, Pop, Kakaquja Yuyuquja, The Sunsilk Strangler, Elil, The Baby, Sir Baron Von Quiveron II Esquire, Body Builder, Uku Duteku, The Whisper in the West, Fiansath Ahtzansasyn, Sand Snuffer, Knee Licker, Shashafisa

The Legend of Dave

The man's midlander friend that has yet to be seen by anyone. He had a hard life. Constantly mistakes other hyur for Dave. You might be Dave.

One-Eyed Wondada

A legendary pervert and the man's tutor in all things sexual. He'll believe anything Wondada says about sex, being uninterested in pursuing poon tang himself. The One-Eyed earned his name after an unfortunate misfire during a menage-a-trois with a Tia and female Hellsguard.

Good Ears

If this man approaches you to tell you that someone across the room said awful things about your mother, he's telling the truth.

Menace to Society

He will just as soon up and walk away from a conversation as he does start them. His active lifestyle staves off death by alcohol.


Common Rumors

  • "I really wish he would stop starin' at my knees..." -Barmaid, Pearl Lane
  • "Honestly, I'd think he were up to no good if he wasn't so piss drunk all the bloody time." -Brass Blade, Quicksand
  • "How many times can one man be thrown out of a place before he is satisfied? We've gone so far as to bar him entry, but he always seems to find his way back in. He has a way when it comes to disturbing our customers." - Barkeep, Platinum Mirage

Moderate Rumors

  • "Aye, tha' lil' shit what stole me brandy! Pissant can keep pace wit the fastest o' chocobos, I tell ye." -Lush Sea Wolf, Fisherman's Bottom
  • "The man with the strange tattoo? I've never seen him spend a gil here, but he's always so nice to us... And so is our boss, when he's around." -Young Courtesan, Steps of Nald
  • "Ah, yes. I see him on the occasion passing through the Blue Badger Gate - just twice a moon. He never seems to stay in the city for much more than two suns. Said he was a businessman of some sort, last I asked, said the cooler air of the Twelveswood caused his joints to ache. He should stay in Thanalan, I think. What a pain it would be to send his body back." - Woodwailer, New Gridania

Rare Rumors

  • "Oh, me cousin? How is he me cousin, ye ask? Well, he's me grandmum's cousin's son-in-law's great aunt's great-grandson, thrice removed! 'Ow do I know? Right, piss off ye cunt, that's 'ow." - Drunk Lalafell, Steps of Thal
  • "That mouthy Dunesfolk? Always comin' round 'ere tryin' tae swindle the 'ole lot of us into Twelve-knows-what. Works, sometimes. Hear the pay is half-decent. Ol' Hunfrid from two tents down wen' with'im 'bout two suns past. 'Aven't seen him since." - Malnourished Highlander, Central Thanalan
  • "Best keep walkin.'" - Shady Looking Dunesfolk, Western Thanalan

PC Rumors

  • ((Please feel free to add your own rumors!))

Potential Hooks

  • Any criminal-type characters in ANY City State have a potential hook for Baby Hands, just shoot me a PM.
  • Families or friends of victims of Baby Hands - that can range from mugging, mass-murder, slavery, assassination, drunken bar brawls... You name it.
  • Anyone looking to buy an Ala Mhigan refugee (male, preferably) for any purpose.
  • Any Ala Mhigan refugee or otherwise bum-ass muscle man (race flexible) looking to be sold? Into labor/illegal fighting rings? Not ERP? Hit me up.
  • Need ANY type of villainous, antagonistic character for your non-Voidstuff storyline? I'm your guy.
  • Drunken shenanigans of ANY kind? Call me.
  • In some really awkward RP and you want a way out but you don't want to come off as an asshole? Light the beacons.


  • Baby Hands is a villain type character. His views do not reflect my own, and I am adamant about the separation of IC and OOC.
  • If, for any reason, we are roleplaying and I make you uncomfortable in any way, please let me know. These are things that need to be rectified immediately. While I will not change Baby's character for you, I will do what I can to accommodate your sensitivities, with few exceptions.
  • I do not ERP. Half the fun of this character is people OOCly and ICly mistaking him for a thirsty lech, when really the only thing that excites him is killing. He can be lewd, but really. I don't ERP.
  • I do not tolerate powergaming and godmoders.


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