Artemis Newton

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Ul'dah-transparent.png Artemis Newton
Artemis Newton 21 10 2014 22 16 34.jpg
I've many roles, but mostly I solve problems. Try not to be one.
Royalist Spy
Gender Female
Race Hyur
Clan Midlander
Citizenship Ul'dah
Age 26
Nameday 25th Sun of the 3rd Astral Moon
Guardian Menphina, the Lover
Marital Status Single
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A former member of the Sultansworn who rose from an orphan on the streets, Artemis Newton served with distinction until the Battle of Carteneau, where her unit was killed due to what she perceived as her own carelessness. Leaving the Sultansworn after that, an easy task considering she was presumed dead, Artemis decided that if she couldn't serve due to her own issues, she would help the Sultanate in her own way, becoming an independent operative who gathered information for the Royalist faction.

It is difficult to take the Sultansworn out of the woman however, and Artemis still finds herself looking to the faction as her guidemark in the world. As the closest thing she has to a family, it is an unwise act to harm one of their number in any way if it is possible she will hear about it.

Ostensibly a Paladin, Artemis is possessed of a number of skill sets, most of which were researched to allow her to blend in with numerous identities and disguises.


Artemis is tall for a Midlander Hyur, with natural blonde hair that comes in many styles depending on her current persona, although she prefers a somewhat long cut swept up in a ponytail. In the past, her hair was dyed black with blue highlights, but recent events saw her return to her blonde look to effect a disguise. Any markings on her face are not of a permanent nature in order to avoid giving herself an identifying mark.

Her favourite clothing tends to be blue, a fascination which has cost her vast sums of gil in dyes. Although she wears glasses, they are entirely decorative and her eyesight is fine. When questioned why she wears them to combat, she was unable to give a more satisfactory answer than 'because'.


For the most part, Artemis is a cheerful individual, quick with a witticism, pun, snark or joke in any situation, often refusing to give serious circumstances the weight they are due. The concepts of surrender and helplessness are entirely alien to her, and she would sooner consider all manner of outlandish acts rather than accept a lost cause. Many of her friends are known to sigh at her terrible, terrible jokes, but are often bolstered by her determination and refusal to give in. Or at least, she hopes so.

By nature of her former profession, she is a meddler, and it's often very difficult to stop her getting involved in standoffs, fights and other people's troubles. As she puts it, she's a problem solver.

It would be a fool who would mistake her silly nature for incompetence though, and underestimating her because of her eccentricities is simply playing into her hands.



As a former Sultansworn, Artemis is best with her trusty sword and shield. Her regular blade is a massively heavy weapon, and her shield is designed for greater offence than defence, sacrificing the protection of a Kite Shield in order to employ battering attacks on her opponent's guard.

Since leaving however, Artemis has found herself using the bow as part of her wandering bard disguise, although her proficiency with it is better than her range of songs. While she engaged in some Conjurer training as part of her requirements to be a Paladin, her preferred method of healing is with a book as a Scholar. What trials she had to go through to get such powers are unknown, and she delights in not telling.

With the surge of knifework enthusiasm sweeping the nation, Artemis has gotten involved in her old habits once more.



  • Snarking
  • Blue
  • The Sultansworn
  • Meddling
  • Pineapple Ponzecake
  • The Monarchy
  • Good brands of alcohol


  • The Syndicate
  • Red in most cases
  • Being stonewalled for snarking
  • Anyone who threatens the Sultansworn
  • The cold
  • P'rth Maeko


  • Weaving
  • Armourcraft
  • Mastering new disciplines
  • Acting


  • Owns a cat called Sir Schmooples, which was originally a joke name until it was all the cat would respond to in the end.
  • Puts on a formal accent for the most part, which is entirely fake.



  • Her parents are unknown to her, which is a good thing since they abandoned her and she's not best pleased about that.


  • Ninifae Nira - Doctor of the New Conglomerate and often found discussing hare brained schemes on the fringe of acceptable scientific practice. Perhaps Newton's best friend.
  • Robert Colt - Leader of the New Conglomerate, who seems to be immune to being annoyed by Artemis' snark, a trait she admires. Currently dead. Bummer.
  • Leih'a Relanah - A young Mi'qote who is currently the council head of the New Conglomerate. Frequent target of Artemis' snark and maniacal energy, especially since he revealed he was getting married. Pray for him.
  • Romy Leonhardt - A young member of the Sultansworn who has pressured her endlessly since revealing her former allegiance to rejoin the Sultansworn. Seems to have succeeded. May not know quite what she's in for.
  • Maria Bertrand - A quiet member of the New Conglomerate. Should probably speak out more.
  • Markus Krosse - The other head of the New Conglomerate council, and thus the secondary target for Newton's snark, especially given his formal demeanour.
  • Chachanji Gegenji - A young Lalafell who is training to become a Paladin, whom Newton admires for his heroic attitude. Considers him under her wing of sorts. Was utterly surprised to find out his Doman heritage was supposed to be a secret.
  • Sheena L'avenne - A feral Lalafell girl recently accepted into the New Conglomerate. Considers Artemis something of a liar and trickster, which isn't wrong so much as imprecise. Newton gets a laugh out of her antics anyway.
  • Leanne Delphium - A Mi'qote girl who Artemis knows through her other friends. Would like to see her cheer up a bit.


  • None she's aware of, but feel free to add your name to the list and she'll get back to you on the matter.


Common Rumors

  • Y'know, I've seen her in about a dozen different outfits... where's she get the time for that? - Quicksand Patron
  • Her? Oh she talks like she's high class, but I've heard her speak like a gutter rat too. Dunno which is the fake one mind you... - Brass Blade
  • Was just walkin' along, mindin' me own business when this woman shoves a shirt in me hands! Don't get me wrong, lovely shirt but... why? - Refugee

Moderate Rumors

  • Y'know, it was back before the Calamity and everything, but I remember a girl like her used to be in uniform up on the Golden Court... hair was different mind you. - Lalafell Noble
  • The monetarists are all stirred up like a hornet's nest cause some blokes keep breakin' into their business... must be a dumb Rogue what's trying that. - Rogue on the Sapphire Avenue
  • Sometimes she just sits in the Quicksand scribbling in that book of hers... Wonder what that's about? - Rumourmonger

Rare Rumors

  • Word has it that Lolorito's paying good gil for that book of hers... won't say why mind you. Think I'll have a read of it before I turn her in... - Prospective Bounty Hunter later incarcerated for involvement in the Slave Trade

PC Rumors

  • "Don't pay her any mind. Snark's her native language." - Leih'a Relanah
  • "Ms. Artemis? She... can be a bit off-puttin' sometimes, b-but she knows lots 'n can do lotsa things, too! She also halped me out when I was still new ta Ul'dah 'n set me on th' path'a th' Free Paladin, which I'm ferever grateful fer." - Chachanji Gegenji


(Work in Progress)


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