Said the pot to the kettle, "Get away, blackface."
|Occupation||Pillar of Justice|
|Theme||Wrapped In Black |
Despite his vast humility, Basilikos is quite simply the greatest hero Eorzea has ever seen. Men bristle and quake upon seeing his magnificent facial hair. Women swoon, and privately resolve to grow said facial hair. Mortals, monsters, Imperials, civilians, Primals -- all have fallen to Basilikos' mighty axe. Although he is still known to accept the pleas of certain desperate adventurers, Basilikos is mostly retired; a sort of warrior emeritus. When he isn't swilling his famous concoction of bleach and sulfuric acid (on the rocks), known as a "hairy chest", Basilikos can be seen keeping vigil at many of Eorzea's sturdy pillars. From these unbending, rock-hard pillars of justice, he dispenses his worldly wisdom to the adventurers of the realm. Those who listen are known to babble incoherently for months afterward. But, if they survive, they may be worthy to apprentice under the great man himself.
It is said that none can truly copy Basilikos' iconic look -- gleaming white plate armor from head to toe, emblazoned with a silver plus sign to represent the countless level-ups, stat boosts and monster kills throughout his lifetime. Emerging from this white unicorn's shell is a stern, proud visage of ebony splendor marked with a proud red X. A cascading waterfall of reddish brown whiskers extend from the majestic mountain that is his face, framing it as a perfect vision of Hyur manliness.
Basilikos' personal fighting mantra is "Hit it hard. If that doesn't work, hit it even harder." It is easy to learn, but difficult to master.
- Sulfuric Acid
- Not Bleach
- Not Sulfuric Acid
- Not Beards
- Not Axes
- Boasts an undefeated streak in bleach drinking contests.
- His summer home is lavishly decorated with marble columns, tigers with lightning bolts, and chocolate-filled furniture.
Basilikos was born to healthy berserker mercenaries in the fires of Mount Doom. He was then raised by eagles, which he killed and ate when he came of age.
- Volant Helswath (father)
- Hauteclere Helswath (mother)
- Orsin Helswath (pig)
- A'pos'tro'phe Ellipsis. A man of few words.
- Lo'rem Ip'sum. A man of many words, all of them gibberish.
- Dorothy "Dot" Spehss. Appears to be mute, but is actually paralyzed by indecision. She refuses to talk.
- Rocinante Hidalgo. The greatest barber in all the realms.
Notable Encounters (as told by Basilikos)
- Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn. "When I came to Limsa, all I wanted was a pillow on which to rest my head. Damned if she didn't give me two of them."
- Wyrnzoen, former head of Limsa Lominsa Marauders' Guild. "Once I was settled in Limsa, I knew I had to hone my craft with the axe. I marched right up to the man and said I had to axe him a question. He handed over the reins to the Marauders' Guild forthwith."
- Gaius Van Baelsar. "I remain the only man in the realm to have defeated him singlehandedly. In a matter of moments, he was groveling for mercy. I gave him none. I used Ultima Weapon's crotchplate to make him a headstone: Here Lies Gaius Van Baelsar. He Achieved Nothing."
- Hildibrand Manderville. "Why, he and I are the best crime-fighting duo in the realm! I took a shine to the lad early on, but he has a long road before he lives up to his father's manly example. Especially his beard."
- Gilgamesh. "Greg and I are old friends. He's long tried to steal Bravura from me, but he can't! It's one of a kind! You'll never find another in all of Eorzea."
Lesser Encounters (as told by Basilikos)
- S'imba Tia. "I informed him that his father, Mu'fa'sa, had passed. He kept staring blankly ahead. The poor boy is obviously in denial."
- Fist Wizard. "When I was honing my meditation skills as a monk, his wisdom was invaluable. Sadly, he is lost to history."
- Aya Foxheart. "We've had lovely conversations about tea. Some day she must give bleach a try!"
- Loetdoen Rhetifoensyn. "A true gentleman. Quite possibly the second noblest man in all the realms, after myself."
- Aaron Frostheart. "Doubtless the greatest swordsman of his era. I've never seen a man defeat himself so completely."
- Has proposed a forced-sterilization plan for all members of the Strife, Highwind and Leonhart clans.
- It is believed Basilikos has an identical twin brother, equal in strength and good looks. His mysterious powers allow him to inhabit every reflective surface in Eorzea. Unfortunately, all further attempts at contact have resulted in failure.
- The prominent X-shaped scar on Basilikos' face is rumored to be the result of tanking Ifrit from behind. However, these rumors are unsubstantiated.
Basilikos' life is a dark and edgy tale: so dark as to be unreadable, and so edgy that you just cut yourself reading this.
This Template was created by Deirdre Ta'ea