Roka chan

[edit] General Appearance Behavior Abilities/Skills Background Rumors Relationships Roka's Journal RP Hooks OOC Gallery  Roka Sakurae When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you. Gender Female Race Au'Ra Clan Raen Citizenship Born in Othard, lives in Ul'Dah Age She refuses to say Deity Menphina Orientation Demisexual Marital Status Widowed Occupation Moonguard / Cook Nameday 21th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon Roka Sakurae, better known as Little Cook or Clumsy Cook to some, and to a very small handful of people Ro', was born on the 13th Sun of the 1st Umbral Moon. Born in Othard under Garlean rule she lived a quiet life as the youngest of five. She does not often speak of her time in Othard, and when she does it tends to be memories which put a frown on her normally cheerful face. Ul'Dah in general, and the Quick Sand, are her favoured places. She wanders around a bit though and can be found having a drink at Buscarron's or gathering ingredients for a meal in Thanaland or the Shroud. Roka is not particularly keen on politics. She feels out of place when it comes to Eorzea and the laws, and would rather not open her mouth about such an unknown subject. Roka currently calls the Elysium her place of employ. On show nights she takes post among the moonguard, and when things are slow and quiet she can be found either in the kitchen or lazing somewhere on the premises. Your Character's Inventory Last updated: June 16th, 2016 -A small, inornate dagger with the word "Shadow" engraved on it - A small tin of cookies or sweets, the contents vary day-by-day depending on what she makes - A map of the Black Shroud - Compass - A small, leather-bound journal - A stick of charcoal - Small pouch of gil Height: 4fulms 5 ilms Weight: 65 ponz Complexion: Fair skinned, freckles splattered playfully across her cheeks, shoulders, back, and chest Hair: Bone white with pink highlights Eyes: Left eye is seafoam green, the right is a pale pink Roka has a soft face, with a slightly pointed chin and small nose. Her eyes are often wide with interest or wonder, and the color mismatched. Her left eye is a sea green and the right a pale pink. Her eyes are rimmed with dark lashes and full lips are often stretched in a happy smile. Roka is dainty even by Au'ra standards, standing shorter than most at 4'5" and being just a wisp of a woman at under 70 ponz. She is small of stature, delicately boned and whatever muscle she may have is lean and would only be found if you physically sought it out. Her slight frame does not lend to much curvature, the barest hint of a flare at the hip and her 'bust' being little more than mosquito bites. She can be sensitive about her figure, a little envious of those who carry more weight. Her hands have small scars from kitchen incidents, oil splatters or a slipped knife leaving a lasting mark on her pale skin. She carries larger scars, though kept well hidden by her clothing choices. A long scar twists across her left leg, wrapping from the outside of her thigh just below the hip to midway down her inner calf. Along the lower part of her should blades is a thin scar that stretches from the right, nearly far enough to curve around her side, to roughly halfway across her left shoulder Notably, she bears several fresh scars. The scales on her forehead are gone, scar tissue leaving an indented shape where they once were. Her left hand has a round scar on the palm and the back of the hand, directly opposite each other. A wound mirrored on each side of her collarbone, identical marks on the back. Her right hand has back and palm scarring as well, though instead of a simple circle the image of a dove is burned into the flesh. Her left horn is broken off approximately halfway down. It has started slowly healing, but it is uncertain how long it will be before full regrowth. Roka is soft of tone and word. Her laugh is melodic, and her voice filled with joy. Her words are often jest and teasing, and when alone she is often humming or singing to herself. She does not yell or shout, and her voice is easily drowned in a crowded room. On the nearly unheard of occasion where anger has settled in her emotions her words are sparse and her voice quieter still, barely above a whisper. Roka's natural scent is soft and warm, calling to mind a summer day with a gentle breeze. Perfumed by her work, and generally smelling of cinnamon, sugar, spices, and honey, as well as by her favoured drink when caught in the evenings the faint whiff of bourbon is present. If one could capture sunshine and roll it into a small, horned package, that would be Roka at glance. The small Au'ra loves to bring smiles to those around her. To describe the first impression of her in a single word would be 'affable'. She takes great interest in people, seeking conversation and gently poking at their lives to get to know them. Roka bears a smile for all and sees no ill-will in others until often too late. She is often laughing in some form, smiling, and if need be making a fool of herself to keep those around her happy. Roka is plagued with a deep kindness, the sort who will give you the shirt off her back or her last bowl of stew. She does not hesitate to question if a beggar asks for coin, she'll happily offer whatever she has on hand as well as a snack often times. She is blind to the potential of being taken advantage of and were it to happen, she would likely forgive the soul in an instant and offer them help all the same. There is more to her than mere smiles and joy. When she finds herself alone she eases the games and smiles in favor of quiet contemplation. It can be exhausting to smile so brightly for the world, and she relished those moments of respite in solitude or with the few people she finds herself comfortable enough with to show that side. She still suffers guilt and sorrow from her past, but she stubbornly refused to show those things to the outside world. A less friendly aspect of the little Raen has started to show itself. A passive interest in learning to defend herself has turned into enjoyment of a good fight. She can be seen stepping into the arena in a variety of venues, and when she fights she is relentless. She shows no concern for her own well-being, seeming to prefer opponents who are easily capable of tossing her about like a ragdoll, and doesn't hesitate to take a blow if she thinks she can turn it around. A sore spot in this regard is that many will take it easy on the small Auri, a fact which if she discovers will cause her to poke, prod, goad, and do anything in her power to push the person to snapping at her. This nearly self-destructive behaviour only shows itself around certain people, generally those who are at the fights. She remembers faces, and actively tries to keep track of who she can show what side, attempting to keep some seperation between the two very different sides of her. She is a different person entirely when she focuses herself and stops thinking so much. Confident, bold, and more than a little reckless. This side of her is shown in two aspects of life. When she fights and when she loves. She is fiercely passionate and utterly unreserved in both regards. She is not entirely aware the extent of the difference, and only knows it exists because Syf pointed it out after seeing the Raen spar. Flaws ■ She is naive and blind to the bad people in the world. An easy mark for anyone looking to take advantage. ■ Selfless, she doesn't think of her own needs and has put herself in sticky situations trying to aide others ■ Roka suffers from night terrors when she sleeps alone. She tries to avoid sleeping as much as possible. Part of her addiction to sweets is the energy from the sugars, and when she goes to bed most nights she stays up reading for as long as possible to further her avoidance of sleep. Fears ■ Roka fears getting close to people. As much as she craves the comfort of being close to another person she is terrified of the prospect and often flees. ■ While fearless of most loud noises, thunder has the propensity to send her cowering under the nearest bed or locking herself in a pantry, closet, or other small room. ■ Roka is irrationally afraid of the dark. Talents ■ Roka is a skilled cook, and loves the craft dearly. There are few things she enjoys more than making a new dish for someone to try or earning praise when she feeds someone. ■ Roka has a knack for making people smile. It's contagious. ■ She's an excellent swimmer, nearly as comfortable in the water as on land. Quirks ■ When Roka has had too much to drink, she tends to get a little physically clingy, and needs to be touching someone. If she keeps drinking past that point for long she gets very grumpy and defensive, preferring to be left alone to her own devices. ■ She is terribly ticklish, and will squeal and giggle at even the slightest poking. ■ Roka has no idea how to handle a compliment of flirtation. Generally, she blushes, squeaks, and tries to dismiss any such things. Preferences Hobbies ■ Singing; Though she does not sing for people, her soft voice is naturally well lent to music ■ Healing Herbs; While she is no medic and casts no spells, Roka does have some herbal knowledge. Things learned from her mother, as well as things she has discovered through culinary practice and playing with different herbs. She can't do much if you have a deep wound, but if your head hurts or belly aches she can likely give you some relief. ■ Botany; Roka has a knack for finding edible plants almost anywhere she goes, a helpful thing for travel as she can keep bellies filled with more than just whatever meat is caught by those who can hunt. Likes ■ Sweets; Roka loves her sugary treats and never makes a meal without including a desert. ■ Culture; Books, songs, art, dance, all of it. Roka loves to soak up anything and everything she can about a place, even so far as studying the different fighting styles though she will not participate. ■ Kindness; One way to earn Roka's most profound respect is through genuine kindness to others. ■ Exploring; Though prone to getting lost and not really able to defend herself, Roka loves to explore. She'd give anything to be able to travel and wander around safely, and if given an opportunity to do so she will take it in an instant. Dislikes ■ Cruelty; Punishment and consequences are tolerable, but outright cruelty breaks Roka's heart. ■ Being Coddled; She's up to her horns in frustration by people who try and protect her from every little thing. ■ Dishonesty; Roka is an open book and the few lies she does tell are painfully obvious. She would rather everyone be honest, and there be no reason to lie at all. ■ Getting Lost; Roka is terrible at finding her way anywhere, and is almost always lost to some degree. She typically makes only the loosest of plans for any given day because if she has to goo anywhere she assumes it's going to take double the time. Favorites ■ Favorite Color: Purple. ■ Favorite Food: Snurbleberry tarts, made her way ■ Favorite Drink: Warm Bourbon ■ Favorite Scent: Sweat -don't judge okay ■ Favorite Place: There are many places Roka loves, but her favorite would be anywhere that feels like home. Through sparring and training sessions, Roka is growing more comfortable with her own body. To combat her small size and lack of strength, she will use any part of her body she can and rely on being quick on her feet as opposed to brute force. She is settling into her own odd style, and does not shy away from doing what it takes to win. She can be honorable, as long as her opponent is as well. If you yank her tail or steer her by the horns you can expect her to claw, bite, or throw sand. It has been noted that she is particularly quick to use her tail to trip someone, or to knock the wind from their lungs if given a chance. She tries to bring taller opponents down to her own level, where she can get an upper hand. Arguably her best ability for fighting has nothing to do with how much hurt she can inflict. It's the opposite. She has a fierce ability to take a hit. And another. And another. The little Raen seems to be endlessly able to take the abuse, and even when battered and barely able to stand, she will try and get back to her feet to keep going. This isn't to say she doesn't feel the pain or take damage. By all means Roka feels every single bit of it, but she will stubbornly keep going until it is physically impossible for her. Weapons The only weapon Roka carries on her is her small dagger. It is a last-resort measure for her to use it as she favours her claws over the blade. Magic Roka does not actively wield her aether, though she has been training. In an average day she performs little things like warming drinks, teleporting, and lighting cigarettes. When pushed she wields fire-aspected aether in destructive displays, and while she cannot sling spells freely this does not stop her from using it offensively and defensively. Crafting Roka is an excellent cook and takes great pride in her craft. She has dabbled in some other fields, and can gather many of the ingredients she needs to cook with. Birth and childhood (0-10) Roka's childhood was innocent enough. She was the youngest of five, three elder brothers and a sister, and was a bit of an oddball in the family. Eternally getting lost she became something of a project for the whole village. At age seven she was asked to fetch some vegetables from the garden in their yard by her mother. When it took her more than a half hour to return, her family went looking. The tiny child was unaccounted for several hours, until she turned up in the next village, and was brought back by a kindly baker there. That was the last time little Roka was let out of anyone's sight voluntarily, though she managed all the same to wander off even with the most diligent of attention. Oddly she never seemed to come to any harm from her wanderings, but the worry was a strain on her family and village. Aside from her proclivity for getting lost, Roka had great dreams of cooking even as a small child, her family often found themselves shaking their heads and sending her along to do whatever task was asked of her in hopes she'd grow out of the phase and settle on reasonable goals. From the moment she was capable of grasping a spoon in her hands, she was underfoot in the kitchen. This was not, sadly, limited to her own home. Visiting friends? The small child found her way to her favorite room and made a mess attempting to cook. Mother turned her back for a moment while they were in town? Roka bolted off and found the nearest stove to make herself at home. The family tried to temper this obsession by allowing her to genuinely help when meals were cooked, and while it helped it did not stop her in the least. Instead, when the little Raen barged in on someone's kitchen she would try to tell them what they were doing wrong, because they didn't cook something exactly like her family did. At their wits end and realizing that Roka was not going to outgrow this, they arranged for her to start helping at the culinarian's guild a few towns away in exchange for lessons. Teen Years Roka spent her early teens with most of her time in the culinary guild. She had proved to be exceptionally talented and devoured any knowledge and lesson she was offered. She quickly became a favorite of many of the more seasoned cooks and her free time was spent either in their company or making regular trips home to maintain a close bond with her family. Much of her village shied away from keeping the odd girl close to their hearts, it was not well accepted for anyone to wander from the village in earnest or to mingle with the outside world. Her family, never once shunned her for it. They accepted their youngest member for who she was, and on her visits home they enjoyed the new recipes she brought, or shared stories on both ends of what had transpired in her absence. This was Roka's life until her fifteenth cycle, when on a trip home she received news which broke her heart and shattered the strong family. Her brothers had left to fight against Garlean rule. Roka did not return to the guild after that. She remained with her parents and sister, waiting for the news they all knew would come. Three weeks might not seem like much time, but when you are fearing the worst and hear nothing at all it is an eternity. The news came by a sorrowful courier, who simply handed a letter to Roka's father and left without a word. They knew what it said before it was opened but hope that it was something else -anything else- kept them from opening it. The letter sat on the table for two more days until Roka's sister tore it open after dinner. Her keening wail of loss alerted the houses in all directions, and Roka snatched the parchment from her to begin reading it out aloud. Dear Mister Sakurae, We regret to inform you of the losses of Daichi Sakurae, Eito Sakurae, and Sachihiro Sakurae on the battlefield. They were last seen on the front-lines in a raid against a Garlean encampment. The bodies of Daichi Sakurae and Sachihiro Sakurae have been recovered and will be delivered to the family for proper funerals. We are still searching f-for... Roka was unable to continue reading, the sobs of her family and the words on the paper too much for her. She Slipped the letter into her pocket silently and over the next week very little was seen or heard from the youngest Sakurae. Her sister, Misaki, had withdrawn and seemed to have been shattered by the loss of her brothers, Her parents in a similar state. Roka changed as well, but in a different manner. She went from a sweet child who was overflowing with smiles and laughter to a quiet girl who's gaze was unsettling at best. She approached her parents one morning calmly, and told them she was leaving. At first, the family assumed she wanted to return to cooking, and they hesitantly agreed on the condition she make regular visits back. Roka explained her intent more clearly. She was going to go follow her brothers and bring honor to their memories. At first there was refusal to permit it, when it was clear that alone would not be enough they took to keeping their youngest locked in the house. After an escape through the chimney in the kitchen, her parents did what any -sane- guardian would do. They locked their daughter in the basement where there was no window, vent, or chimney to squeeze out of. She found a way, talking to Misaki through the door for weeks she finally convinced her sister to open the door. Roka was gone in the blink of the eye, and this time no one managed to catch her before she found her way to a small rebel force. She was laughed at, initially. What could such a tiny child do to help them? She was told to go home, told to give up, told a number of discouraging things. Every morning though she was standing among the soldiers, ready to train. They couldn't get rid of her, and they gave up, shoving a weapon into her hands. The sword was as big as she was, but she did her best. She was not skillful, she was not precise, and she was a loose cannon. It took her a year of training before they would let her set foot in battle, and even then it was expected that another letter would be sent to the Sakurae family. She proved to be reckless, wild, and thirsty for Garlean blood, but she came back to camp at the end of battle with no mortal wound, though a long gash on her leg would be a life-long reminder of that first fight. Respect was granted to the tiny Auri, and she was partnered with an axe wielder in future fights. There was not much teamwork for her in battle, but outside of it in the calm of camp and down time she and her partner grew close, spending every waking minute together. Two more years of battle, her partner had become her lover and they were engaged with hopes to wed when the fighting was over. She was a different person by then, battle-weary and aware no amount of Garlean blood would bring back her lost family. The last battle she took part in was a disaster. They were ambushed and outnumbered by much stronger forces. In truth, there was nothing any of them could have done but flee. They fought though, even as Roka plead for retreat. Her partner refused, and he rushed in expecting her to be at his side. The whole squad did. She had never balked. She was always the first one charge forward. Little Roka and her sword were nowhere to be found though. She turned and ran to safety, watching the fight through tear-streaked eyes as the people who had become like family to her met their ends. She returned home, hoping to find some sort of comfort, to be met with rejection. Her parents declared they had only one daughter, Misaki, an no other children living. Roka left once more, travelling far from her Othard home in search of anything to bring her solace. Adulthood Roka does not speak much of this time frame, and it will be disclosed IC for flavour and to keep some mystery alive. Please feel free to add your own rumors under PC! Some of these rumors may be untrue or greatly exaggerated. Common Rumors (Easily overheard) ■ "The friendly white scale? She seems harmless enough, perhaps a little absent minded.~Ul'Dah Merchant ■ "The tiny Au'ra lass? Great cook. She dropped off a basket of pastries last week and I don't think they lasted ten minutes." ~Midlander staff member at the Quick Sand ■ "That little cook? Oh she's a sweetheart! She stopped by the other day with baskets of treats she was taking to a clinic. I had to turn her around and sent her the right way, but we all get a little lost sometimes." ~Goblet tavern owner ■ "What an odd little thing. She always makes nice after a match, even when the poor girl is broken and bleeding." Hyuran Yellow Jacket Moderate Rumors (Moderately difficult to overhear) ■ "Roka? No one can be that happy. I think she's hiding something." ~Shady Duskwright ■ "I heard she used to be a soldier. I can't imagine she was a good one though, look at how tiny she is!" ~Hellsguard adventurer ■ "She's a sweet lass, but I'm afraid she's not so carefree as she likes us all to think." ~Staff member of her cafe Rare Rumors (Very difficult or rarely overheard) ■ "I heard she caused the death of her entire squad, and that she ran away because she couldn't stand it." ~Snooty merchant ■ "I saw her out in the desert a little while back with a sword that was as big as she is! She looked like she was struggling to carry it, I'm not sure what she was doing out there though." ~Dunesfolk nomad ■ "Roka? I saw her go off into the desert after a lad was attacked, I don't think I'll ever forget the look on that little one's face." ~Ul'Dah chocobo porter PC Rumors (Rumors from the characters of other players) ■ "Roka is a dear friend, who brings cheer and food with her wherever she goes. She is brave and strong, even if she doesn't look like it. For her everybody else comes first. I just wish to help the helper, and give her the happiness she so rightly deserves." ~Syf Kha ■ "Roka is my best friend's wife and mate. She's always been so kind to me, she's a sweetheart. Her café business is adorable too. I love it." ~Teirra Lihzeh ■ "Insert rumor here." ~Name 💑 In a Relationship ♥ Romantic Interest ♥ Sexual Desire ♥ Platonic Love ♥ Family ● Good Standing ● Neutral ● Poor Standing ☠ Deceased ♥●Simeon Sibaruse (Cinnamon): The first person I talked to after arriving in Ul'Dah. He stole my heart long before I realized it and faster than I ever dreamed possible. Cinnamon means the world to me, and I hope he knows I will always be happy to do anything I can for him, even if our time together is past. ●Meis Taruteis: Liar... I thought I knew him, but after a time apart the man I met when I saw him again was... Not Meis. He fights the same, and I suppose it is just me being stubborn... I wish I could talk to him again, with a cooler head. ♥♥● Maxwell Marlborough (Marl): At first glance, about as nice as a coueral shoved in a garden shed with a hive of pissed off bees. Originally just the person I wanted to be better than at Nef's, I've discovered there's more than just a prickly, snarky exterior. More than just a rival, I consider him a friend, as odd a friendship as we may have. I would never say it out loud, but he is likely my best friend. There are many fires I would walk through to show him he is not alone. ● W'Surah Beln: A somewhat frightening Miqo'te who I suppose means well. I would have liked to meet him under better terms, but at least I know he has a good heart. I trust him, even if he makes me nervous. ● Therion Kator'to (Beaky Beaks): I met him outside the Quick Sand, and I simply cannot get this mysterious keeper out of my head. He's a mystery for sure, though very sweet and charming. I gave him a pearl, hopefully he will be in touch soon. I would gladly exchange cookies and sweets for more fortune tellings and conversations. ● Tana Firesong: A sweet, if a little headstrong, Miqo'te who I'm happy to call friend. I'll have to start keeping some fish-based cookies or snacks on me more often for her. ●♥ Cicero Fortescue: A very dear person, I have many confused feeling in regards to him though. No matter what, I value this man dearly and would do anything for him. I owe him a great many debts. ♥● Kulain Qalli: I am happy to have found her once more, and more importantly to discover that our bond is not broken but in fact stronger. She is a sister to me, and I to her. No matter the differences in our lifestyles I will forever be willing to stand beside her should she call on me, as well as to try and find the cap on how much biscotti she can eat. ●Krick Etune: I know him mostly as one of the few healers who I can stand to be healed by without suffering. He is a nice guy though, also so polite and cheerful. I should bring him something one of these days to show gratitude for the time he takes to patch us lot of knuckleheads back up after we beat each other senseless. ●♥♥ Syf Kha: She reminds me much of my birth sister. I want to make her smile, yes. I hope that she can find a place she feels truly at home, and look forward to spending time with her, and perhaps having more cookies with her. I hadn't felt so at ease and well rested in many cycles. ♥● Rei Wakeflame: Rei is such a sweet creature, and loyal. I am sad to see our time together come to an end, but I wish him the best. It is my only hope that he does not simply forget me entirely, for I know that he will hold a dear spot in my heart for many cycles. Dates are included mostly for me so I can keep track of things. However, feel free to use them as references for character journals. July 12, 2016 (7/12) First entry So... I know I've been carrying this silly journal around forever, but I guess I should put it to use, huh? Where to start. Today was a lot to take in. I properly met Olive today and some of her friends. She's nice. Adelle summoned a new friend and I helped her name it! Lemon, because he's a lovely yellow color. Olive took me aside as well, and she told me the -real- story of what happened with Simeon. I was confused and felt bad for my own doubts, but I was happy she chose to let me know the truth of it. I was perhaps a little -too- eager to go see him after, but... Well it was so good to be with him again after so much time apart lately. I hate feeling so alone, truly. Things are better though, we talked through our woes and I think things will be alright now. I just hope we can see each other more. I miss my Cinnamon. Other things happened. I heard from someone I didn't think would ever find me. It was just a letter, a note scrawled on parchment. There wasn't even a signature. I would know Misaki's writing anywhere though. We used to pass little the time as children, and I still have a couple of them hidden away for lonely nights. It was her, it was my sister. She is different though, not what I remember if her words are anything to judge by. She is darkened, perhaps by our parents, perhaps by the Garleans. Most likely though I fear it is my own fault. I went to the Gin Mill again tonight, I wanted to... I wad feel pain. To feel anything other than the guilt. I fought an Elezen, he called himself Dusk but I overheard others calling him Ren. He was good, I almost won. I wish he would have just knocked my head off though, I didn't even try and dodge that swing at my head. I guess I'm not that lucky though. Marl was there, oddly. Maybe not oddly. I don't know. I didn't want to fight him though, not tonight. He... He deserves better than me like this. I guess it's a good thing I got knocked out of the running. I don't know why, but... Well I really respect him. He's a little complicated but he's not such a bad guy. I guess if nothing else, what I thought was going to be a really bad night turned out alright. I left with a new friend who I don't have to force the smiles around and I was feeling more at ease. July 24, 2016 (7/24) Atonement I... Have made mistakes recently. Many of them. I used to think I was on the path to being better, to becoming a 'good' person. I doubt this now though. I took a eave from E.R.A. to deal with Misaki's... Antics. She put a bounty on me, sizable enough that I was hunted. Deserter, it claimed. Murderer. I did not wish to taint E.R.A. with my past, or to jeopardize those I have come to hold dear in this new home. I wonder if I am not just the foolish child people think I am sometimes. It doesn't matter though. I did the paperwork and Cicero gave me leave, though he seemed... Troubled doing so. I left late in the night, when the house was asleep and no one would notice. I think a part of me wanted someone to stop me though, I could feel the dread wash over me as soon as I left the door. I traveled far into the desert, got myself lost in the Sagoli. If I was going to fight, it would be there. Someone found me. I knew they would. A Raen walked up to where I had been resting, dragging a body behind her. She... Recognized my eyes. Attacked. Had I not been so tense and ready to flee her first strike would have been all it took to end me. Another appeared, I thought it to be possibly help, and then another bounty hunter simply looking for a payout. I tried, really... I just... I wasn't ready. I thought I was dead. I nearly lost my arm. I was... Afraid, until the world went black. It was Cicero. The other hunter. My bounty crossed his desk and he tracked me immediately. He was almost too late. He fixed the physical damage, but... My left arm has been useless ever since. I can twitch the fingers a little bit if I really try or am in a particularly emotional state. Alive. I am alive, and Cicero cleared the bounty for me. That was not the only mistake. I had to find Simeon. I had to tell him what I had done. In the process of trying to find him and talk to him I discovered I was being... Followed. Surah, from the company, had overheard my request for a leave and decided to keep an eye on me. It was a sweet gesture, even if he is a little frightening. He convinced me to go home though, and to let him accompany me should I wander off for more dangerous things. I... I agreed to this. I had been so utterly terrified and alone since the desert that it was... Welcome. I finally found a chance to talk to Simeon, to tell him what I did. I expected him to turn away from me, to hate me, but he did not. We talked, I wept, I explained, he consoled me. I betrayed him, slept with another, and yet he held me in his arms and comforted me. Such an idiot, I am... I think we are going to try and fix us, see each other more. I hope so... I think that is all I will right for now. I am weary from everything, but I am home again and I will try to be more vigilant in my updates. July 25, 2016 (7/25) Simple Comforts Have you ever had a moment where you realize how... Simple everything is? I have been so busy lately that I forgot. To wake in the morning, have a cup of coffee in the garden and read a book. It sounds foolish but it was a moment I needed. It was a slow day, overall. I am sure that I will be scolded when I return to the company home though for my choice of evening activities. I did what I always do on Mondays, I went to Limsa to spar. Even with my left arm still not functioning, I cannot sit idly by. I was bored and it is a place where I can go to not be coddled or treated as a child. I enjoy the relative equality I find in these places. One lass seemed... Hesitant to fight me, at least until I made it clear I expected to pulled punches. She was a nice girl, I feel a little bad for how hard I hit on the last punch. Thankfully Krick was there, with his new Scholar abilities, to make things better. Syf came again, this time she partook. She sparred! With me! I was nervous, terrified really, but ... Excited. She held back a little, by her own confession, with her first hit, but she did not simply let me win. It wasn't a long fight, and I won, but... I hope she knows for certain now I am getting stronger. I hope she doesn't have to worry about me so much. I hope she can smile brighter now when I am wandering. Words will be had with Marl though. I'm irate with that catte. He promised me a match and failed to deliver. I think I'm going to make sure to wear boots with a solid sole next time I see him, and make him eat them. Perhaps that is harsh though Maybe he felt pity and didn't want to fight me in this state. I hope not... I left with Syf, spent the night with her in her home. We talked for hours. Sister time. I told her everything. EVERYTHING. The bounty, Misaki, Cicero, Simeon, all the messy, horrible details. Everything I'd been hiding from her until I could sort things out. She hugged me, she comforted me, she questioned and she fussed. My sister, how I love her. We sipped tea and enjoyed the evening together, it seems like forever since we had a chance to just be alone, there was so much to say on both ends! After a drink of brandy we retired to her bed. It was the most comfortable thing in the world. A plush rug, so fluffy I thought it might have been a cloud. No need to pillows or blankets. We settled down, and this time I got to be the last one asleep. I stroked her hair and hummed old songs for her until she was peacefully slumbering. Just like I used to for Misaki. As happy as I am here I miss home July 26, 2016 (7/26) New Paths I saw Kulain today. For the first time since leaving the sanctuary. It was... nerve wracking, but she was friendly, kind. Perhaps it is just me, I am so on edge at times I overthink everything. We talked, about my cafe and her sanctuary. About things in general. It was... Nice. I also met a most interesting... Catte? Crow? I am not sure. Beaky Beaks. I like him. He told me my fortune, the four of pentacles. I as possessive of my friends and gil supposedly. I cannot say that I am stingy with gil, but I am very protective of those I hold dear. He said that do not tolerate change well. This made me laugh, for I seem to be changing more and more each day. Not all futures are accurate, he laughed and told me. We departed the Quick Sand for a quieter place, where we sat and talked. He told me more fortunes, that if I fight int he Grindstone this week I will be hurt. I must be careful. He said that I have great strength, but I am at risk of isolation. That I will steal the strength from others to grow more powerful. I could never live with myself for such a thing... He told me... Another fortune. I asked about love. Things with Simeon have been so... Confusing, I thought perhaps he could help offer clarity. He told me his own thoughts on happiness, as well as what the spirits said. I am just as confused as before though. We talked for awhile after about many things. Beaky revealed his face and his real name to me. He was... Surprisingly handsome, a stark contrast to the mask he wore. I hope to hear from him soon, I gave him a pearl and asked him to come visit sometime. He is such a fascinating creature. I want to get to know him better, he seems to have many layers and intricacies The Gin Mill was... Not so good. Marl was there again, which was good, but... It was not a good night. Sure, I won my first match to date there, but... Marl was disqualified after his. Things got dangerous afterward. People were calling for blood, and... Well I was the only person who was willing to defend Marl without it being just for the sake of the club. He's not so bad, people just... Need to look past things. I trust him, enough that I'd let him have my back in a fight. It finally settled, and nothing too bad happened. Marl was sweet though, when the crowd started saying things about me, he defended me. Perhaps I am just blind, or maybe I got hit in the head too many times. I don't know. Ren warned me about him, sort of. I was harsh to Ren, but I just didn't want to see anything happen to Marl. Was I wrong?D make me bad? I just... I can relate to him, I know that look in his eyes. Maybe I should just go home, stop doing these things. Stop trying... July 12, 2016 (7/12) First entry So... I know I've been carrying this silly journal around forever, but I guess I should put it to use, huh? Where to start. Today was a lot to take in. I properly met Olive today and some of her friends. She's nice. Adelle summoned a new friend and I helped her name it! Lemon, because he's a lovely yellow color. Olive took me aside as well, and she told me the -real- story of what happened with Simeon. I was confused and felt bad for my own doubts, but I was happy she chose to let me know the truth of it. I was perhaps a little -too- eager to go see him after, but... Well it was so good to be with him again after so much time apart lately. I hate feeling so alone, truly. Things are better though, we talked through our woes and I think things will be alright now. I just hope we can see each other more. I miss my Cinnamon. Other things happened. I heard from someone I didn't think would ever find me. It was just a letter, a note scrawled on parchment. There wasn't even a signature. I would know Misaki's writing anywhere though. We used to pass little the time as children, and I still have a couple of them hidden away for lonely nights. It was her, it was my sister. She is different though, not what I remember if her words are anything to judge by. She is darkened, perhaps by our parents, perhaps by the Garleans. Most likely though I fear it is my own fault. I went to the Gin Mill again tonight, I wanted to... I wad feel pain. To feel anything other than the guilt. I fought an Elezen, he called himself Dusk but I overheard others calling him Ren. He was good, I almost won. I wish he would have just knocked my head off though, I didn't even try and dodge that swing at my head. I guess I'm not that lucky though. Marl was there, oddly. Maybe not oddly. I don't know. I didn't want to fight him though, not tonight. He... He deserves better than me like this. I guess it's a good thing I got knocked out of the running. I don't know why, but... Well I really respect him. He's a little complicated but he's not such a bad guy. I guess if nothing else, what I thought was going to be a really bad night turned out alright. I left with a new friend who I don't have to force the smiles around and I was feeling more at ease. July 28, 2016 (7/28) Where did the night go? A beautiful day. I woke in the best of ways, safe and secure and content. How could I not be eager to see what was in store? I did my morning rituals around the home, prepared meals and snacks for the household, baked cookies, and packed my things to head into Ul'Dah for a bit. I made more friends today, while I was sitting in the Quick Sand. One an Elezen lady, tall and pretty and sweet. She tried a cookie, and we talked for awhile. The other a little Lalafell who overheard me talking about the cafe, and my want to open the downstairs into a stage for people to come and express themselves. Both were lovely people. I gave them my card and a pearl to the musician before I had to hurry away on business. I ran into the woman ag in the evening. Zetalia was her name. As I was getting ready to go out for the music and fun in the desert listening to Savo, Marcy, Rommie, and Kasumi. I invited her along, she had said she liked music and it was an experience to see the passion that group all put into their art. We had fun. Well... I did. I knew several faces, mostly from the Gin Mill or from performances at the cabaret. After the shows I mingled a little bit. I gave Marcy a tip of cookies. Some chocolate ch and some almond. He said I was scary when I walked up though! Maybe he was joking... I don't think I'm scary. I suppose the only time he has seen me though was when I fight, maybe I'm scary then? I'll have to ask someone, perhaps Syf? Maybe Cicero if he ever sees me fight again. He only saw the one time, and that was... A disaster. I left with Zetalia, she sang for me at the Burning Wall. It was beautiful. I was reluctant to leave, but I knew I should be heading home. I gave her a pearl to contact me with and headed out. The writing is scribbled, scratched out violently here. Started and stopped in attempts to write something down. The mess covers half a page easily, clearing up only near the bottom of the paper, where the few words are written heavily, traced over and over as if to commit to memory do not trust (Credit is due to Endel Blanche for the idea to add in this tab!) Roka loves to cook, and she often smells like food. Feel free to get a whiff of something yummy and investigate. She's frequently lost, and wandering around with a puzzled expression, don't be shy to offer some help. If someone looks to be in need of help, Roka will come check things out and do what she can. Roka has been seen more frequently checking out various pups, bars, taverns, and cafes. If you own/run/frequent one let me know! Roka makes a point to attend events run by the Blacksteel FC and the Elysium to show her support. If you want to catch her at an event, those are the best bets. What I am looking for/interested in: One-offs are fine and fun for a night, but I'm also actively seeking long-term partners to develop my character alongside If romance happens naturally, I welcome it. I do not believe in forcing my character to respond in any specific way to someone, be it love, hate, or other. I don't mind Roka getting into trouble or getting roughed up. She might not be an aggressive person, but please don't be shy about picking a fight or attacking her if that's what your character would do. I prefer the roll system, but with the understanding that you may not maim, kill, or deal long-term damage without permission I am willing to overlook it for a good RP. What I will NOT RP: ERP: Cuddling, kissing, etc is fine, but when it gets to the point of where stuff is obviously going I would rather fade to black and skip ahead. I RP for the character development and the fun of it, not to spend hours writing out a sex scene. Links: Any links you feel are important for people to see, like journals, can be linked in this section. Tropes: Optional section. Remove if you don't want. You can link Tropes about your character here. About the Player: I'm fairly new to the whole RP scene and to Balmung. Roka is my first character and I'm very open to advice on things I can improve on. I am loving everything about it so far though! I'm eager to play and I love walk-ups, so far all of my best RPs have sprouted from them, and my longer running partners came from them as well. I don't mind my character getting into pretty much any situation. If someone wants to fight, attack, rob, etc don't be shy! I'll play it out with you and I'll enjoy it. I likewise welcome scenes where Roka is more in her element, being a goofball and poking at people to get smiles. That's where she shines, other than when someone gives her free reign in their kitchen. I trend towards longer posts and enjoy giving details about actions and mannerisms as much as dialogue, so if that's something you dislike I'm probably not the partner for you. My availability is a little all over the place depending on scheduling, but my base time zone is EST and I'm usually off and on through the day. Roka is not me and I am not my character. I believe firmly in separation of character and self. I do, however, enjoy making friends IC and OOC so don't be shy! Annotations: This template created by Rihxo Matoi with the help of Nanagi Nagi and has pieces from the templates of Unnamed Mercenary, Roen Deneith, Cyrus Wolfe, and Coatleque Crofte. Other Stuff OOC notes. For extra fun, write at 3am.